Sometimes I wonder what I really want to do in life.
I see people hustling.
Volunteering, working, and spending every moment of their free time doing something productive. At times, I’d think, I want to be like that… But is it all worth it in the end? I wonder when his or her life comes to an end, what would it be that he or she will remember?
I see people being content.
Even if the world is about to end tomorrow, they would shrug and go on about what they were doing and they’re okay with that. At times, I think I’d want to be like that—so carefree and happy. But then I would ask myself, then what am I working so hard for right now?
I admit it.
I confess to being indecisive and swaying easily. It took a long time for me to establish some goals in my life and still, I’m unclear about what I want in the long run…
In high school, I just wanted to graduate and get out of there.
Now I want to graduate from college.
Yes, graduate. I’m a freshman and I’m already hoping to reach the finish line. Let’s skip all the majors discussion and what career I’m going to have for the rest of my life for now because that seems to be all that people want to push onto me.
“You should become a dentist. My dentist is crappy and unreliable; I’d love to have a trustworthy dentist.”
“You should become a pediatrician. Then we could take our children to go see you instead.”
Don’t do this to me.
Don’t try to project your shattered dreams onto me.
Don’t try to make my decisions for me.
What happened to, “You’re eighteen now. Make your own decisions”?
Because that line seems to be used only when I’m sincerely asking for your input and you just don’t want to give me any.
Yet, when I finally decide that to hell with asking for your advice, you try to project your thoughts into my reality.
It sickens me to the core.